Funny News Stories

From Newspaper Headlines

Autos killing 110 a Day; Let’s Resolve to do Better
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad she Hasn’t Seen in Years
“Blind” Man Had Driver’s LIcense
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Child’s Death Ruins Couple’s Holiday
Child’s Stool Great for Use in Garden
Clerk Saw Mother’s Name On Stolen Bank Card, Police Say
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Colorado Man Ticketed After Cat Refuses To Go For Jog
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
Dealers will Hear Car Talk at Noon
Dr. Ruth to Talk about Sex with Newspaper Editors
Drunk Drivers Paid $1,000 in 1984
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Eye Drops Off Shelf
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Grandmother of Eight Makes Hole in One
If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly it May Last a While
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant
Kicking Baby Considered To Be Healthy
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
Reagan Wins on Budget, but More Lies Ahead
Robber Holds Up Albert’s Hosiery
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should be Belted
Shot Off Woman’s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Smokers are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Experts Say
Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Stiff Opposition Expected to Casketless Funeral Plan
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Two Sisters Reunite after Eighteen Years at Checkout Counter
Two Soviet Ships Collide – One Dies
War Dims Hope for Peace
William Kelly was Fed Secretary